Giving You Legit Love Advice
It’s all hopeless children, but I gave it a shot. Happy Venereal Disease — I mean, Valentine’s Day, on CNN.
But when you act like Rage Guy it kind of sucks. That’s CNN this week, kittens.
When You Do Not Read Their Blog
Also: When you do read their blog (creeper).
Navigating the conundrum — that’s CNN this week, attention-starved animals.
When No One’s Talking About Them
You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you. Well, it’s not, but CNN this week is, vanity-drenched vagrants.
Bad Internet Manners
All the shit yer doing wrong in a helpful checklist format. That’s CNN this week, luddites.
If hipsters actually had that. Anyway, don’t send it over the holidays. That’s CNN today.
This cubicle makes my soul weep.
“Oh, you’re looking to discover some new bands? Yeah, I’ll burn you some shit.”
Remedies to keep your skinnies from bursting into flames with every vow you utter. That’s CNN this week, you pathetic Pinocchios.
The Death of the English Language at the Hands of the Emoticon
Stop. Fucking. Smiling. That’s CNN this week, babes.
When You Snoop on Their LiveJournals
Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets are for everyone! Except for you. That’s CNN this week, spying sycophants.
Your Obnoxious, Incessant Gchats
Every time you type “yep” and hit enter, the window blinks until I click over to it, completely destroying my pictures-of-munchkin-cats binge. Die.
More unforgivable Gchat sins over on CNN.