Stuff Hipsters Hate

Dec 20
Links Hipsters Hate Today in utter wastes of time: Hipster vs. Douchebag: A literary inquiry Chick who sent this to me wrote nothing but “Enough said.” I disagree. Craft Talk Bittersweet Missed Connection tale, starring an unwilling monogamist hipster douchebag. The girl with the scrabble tattoo What should you buy that hipster on your list for Christmas? Here are three bad lists. Issue One: As a perpetual miscreant, said hipster deserves nothing. Issue Two: Hackey sacks? WTF? And Issue Three: Fuck gift guides. I want whiskey. Email of the week: Sometimes, and I mean once every five blue moons or so (which translates to roughly 483 pulpy Blue Moons), a reader sends me an email that makes me embarrassingly laugh out loud, post-partying, drunk and writing Bad Decision tweets in the wee hours of the night. Conor from England or Wherever, I tip my watermelon-flavored Joose in your general direction. I’ve an idea… I just thought you guys should know about a scourge on the hipster community in my town, i.e. the “Brojan horse”. This conniving member of the male race walks into the average hipster watering hole, or any area where they converge. He looks, talks, and acts completely like a hipster, and he uses this to gain the trust and affection of female hipsters. But when he suggests they go home, alarm bells begin to ring when they walk past the lowered utility vehicle in his driveway. Even more so when they notice all of the collegiate football trophies that adorn his wall, as opposed to faded polaroids of that one time he met the guy from memory tapes. As the hipster girl stares around in horror, shocked and awed at what she sees in front of her, she notices that the guy she was planning on seeing 4 times before ghosting and rocking up at his house drunkenly a month later, doesn’t have the standard emaciated figure of the men she is used to seeing. In fact, she notices (with much horror) the bulge of biceps and veiny forearms. In the same fashion that Odysseus and his men were able to penetrate the pretentious and elitist defences of the Trojans, so too is the Brojan Horse able to make his way into the ranks of hipsterdom “To score hipster sluts.” Alright, abominable boys and girls, keep the links and lip coming. (Photo)

Links Hipsters Hate

Today in utter wastes of time: Hipster vs. Douchebag: A literary inquiry

Chick who sent this to me wrote nothing but “Enough said.” I disagree. Craft Talk

Bittersweet Missed Connection tale, starring an unwilling monogamist hipster douchebag. The girl with the scrabble tattoo

What should you buy that hipster on your list for Christmas? Here are three bad lists. Issue One: As a perpetual miscreant, said hipster deserves nothing. Issue Two: Hackey sacks? WTF? And Issue Three: Fuck gift guides. I want whiskey.

Email of the week: Sometimes, and I mean once every five blue moons or so (which translates to roughly 483 pulpy Blue Moons), a reader sends me an email that makes me embarrassingly laugh out loud, post-partying, drunk and writing Bad Decision tweets in the wee hours of the night. Conor from England or Wherever, I tip my watermelon-flavored Joose in your general direction.

I’ve an idea… I just thought you guys should know about a scourge on the hipster community in my town, i.e. the “Brojan horse”.

This conniving member of the male race walks into the average hipster watering hole, or any area where they converge. He looks, talks, and acts completely like a hipster, and he uses this to gain the trust and affection of female hipsters. But when he suggests they go home, alarm bells begin to ring when they walk past the lowered utility vehicle in his driveway. Even more so when they notice all of the collegiate football trophies that adorn his wall, as opposed to faded polaroids of that one time he met the guy from memory tapes. As the hipster girl stares around in horror, shocked and awed at what she sees in front of her, she notices that the guy she was planning on seeing 4 times before ghosting and rocking up at his house drunkenly a month later, doesn’t have the standard emaciated figure of the men she is used to seeing. In fact, she notices (with much horror) the bulge of biceps and veiny forearms. In the same fashion that Odysseus and his men were able to penetrate the pretentious and elitist defences of the Trojans, so too is the Brojan Horse able to make his way into the ranks of hipsterdom “To score hipster sluts.”

Alright, abominable boys and girls, keep the links and lip coming.

(Photo)

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  1. seekingsubstance reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  2. neophilic reblogged this from stuffhipstershate and added:
    From stuffhipstershate
  3. liltinysoprano reblogged this from stuffhipstershate and added:
    BROJAN HORSE LOLOLOL
  4. gbreaux reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  5. smilesvssmirks reblogged this from stuffhipstershate and added:
    Horses, first hand.
  6. migslovesyou reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  7. surprisefries reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  8. stuffhipstershate posted this

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