Stuff Hipsters Hate | Dyeing Their Hair It appears the grandma-inspired...

Dec 09

Dyeing Their Hair

It appears the grandma-inspired trend of long wool sweaters and oversize glasses (now in thin gold wire frames instead of the once-ubiquitous black plastic) has made its way onto hipsters’ dirty heads. Gray hair, on men but more noticeably on women, can be spotted speckling out through hipsters’ shaggy mains.

We’re speaking not of the soft allover dove-gray some of the wackier designers applied to 17-year-olds on the runway last season; this is true, anachronistic salt-and-pepper, framing the eyes and cheeks of otherwise gorgeous (albeit gaunt and sallow) young things.

Multiple factors have fed, tributary-like, into this trend. Let’s review:

*As we have noted, hipsters are decidedly un-Aryan—thus, their raven hair is the perfect backdrop for prominent metallic threads.
*We also know that hipsters subsist on a steady diet of nicotine, Cup Noodles and nihilistic thought patterns—not exactly an RD’s prescription for healthy hair, skin and nails.
*We must also reason that, if the wave of modern-day hipsterdom swirled into being around the onset of the present millennium, some h-kids are getting old. Like, late-30s old. And their bodies are changing.
*And finally, as we’ve discussed in detail and examined via various ephemera, hipsters completely shun the exhausting, superficial parade of beautification, led drum-major style by the anti-aging industry.

Thus, their pigment-free locks remain glittering on their heads like permanent crowns.

Well, that or they’re way too fucking lazy to buy a box of Clairol and go through with it.

(Photo)

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