Asking You Out Directly
Hipsters may hook up with the best of them, but one thing they are loathe to do is ask one out directly. Instead, they employ a nebulous form of courtship that we like to refer to as “The Implied Ask-Out.”
The Implied Ask-Out functions thusly:
Hipster Boy: So what are you doing tomorrow night?
Hipster Girl: Uhh, I dunno. I was planning on lugging the old typewriter over to El Beit and pounding out a few more sonnets for my new ‘zine, “My Hair’s So Long, It Doesn’t Make Sense as Hair Anymore.” Or, you know, drinking in my room. You?
Hipster Boy: Oh, well. Kimbell is having a party to celebrate the one-year anniversary of that antiques store/apothecary/coffee shop he and Jezebel opened… last year… naturally… Should be cool…
Hipster Girl: Oh. Nice.
Hipster Boy: Yeah. I’ll be there at around 1 am, if you’re around…
As you can see, no real invitation has been extended — even the “if you’re around” is decidedly vapor-like.
So why the predilection for such pussy-eque proposals? Well, hipsters are just like you! Shy! Nervous! Afraid of rejection! That and they’re not totally sure they’re into you yet, but it would be cool if you showed up, you know, like if they’re drunk and looking for some action. And if they do, indeed, decide to bail, it’s not like they really asked you out, anyway? Right? Wait, why are you mad?
(Photo)
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lot. A.K.A. The ambiguous hangout.
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