Stuff Hipsters Hate

Washing Their Hair

There are several misconceptions out there that imply that hipsters are dirty—not so. Although the room may get a little ripe after an all-night dance party in Pete’s loft (c’mon, that impromptu jazz saxophone/acoustic guitar battle was so vigorous we couldn’t help but sweat out all the whiskey we had consumed) and hipsters do tend to construct their outfits by pulling random pieces of clothing out of the whimsy pit that is their floor, scenesters enjoy a good shower. Still, hair is a different story. Whether it’s a carefully arranged angular coiffure, a mess of wild curls or a Jesus mop complete with a creeping beard that sprouts along one’s face like moss creeping along the forest floor, the structural integrity of a hipster’s hair is severely jeopardized by water. Forget “lather, rinse, repeat”—a hipster hair-washing comes at regular, widely spaced intervals—like the rise and fall of the full moon.

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