Stuff Hipsters Hate

Dec 06
Being Too Old to Get Presents
The holidays provide much to hate, but even hipsters, those sultans of sullenness, enjoy the juvenile thrill of pulling presents into their grubby hands, ripping at the paper like feral creatures to bring to light an undeserved (and swiftly unwanted) possession.
So, in the spirit of taking, we asked some bloggers (far less lazy than ourselves) to write some guest posts to entertain you listless louses. We’ll begin posting them this week, sprinkling the rest throughout the month like so many smog-smudged snowflakes. Enjoy, thankless babies. Enjoy.
And if you’re in the area, come party with us on Friday at Glasslands at a showcase with Golden Pony, Blood Lovers, Total Slacker and s’more rad bands. RSVP here.
Let’s do this.
(Photo)

Being Too Old to Get Presents

The holidays provide much to hate, but even hipsters, those sultans of sullenness, enjoy the juvenile thrill of pulling presents into their grubby hands, ripping at the paper like feral creatures to bring to light an undeserved (and swiftly unwanted) possession.

So, in the spirit of taking, we asked some bloggers (far less lazy than ourselves) to write some guest posts to entertain you listless louses. We’ll begin posting them this week, sprinkling the rest throughout the month like so many smog-smudged snowflakes. Enjoy, thankless babies. Enjoy.

And if you’re in the area, come party with us on Friday at Glasslands at a showcase with Golden Pony, Blood Lovers, Total Slacker and s’more rad bands. RSVP here.

Let’s do this.

(Photo)

Nov 03
Asking For Advice
Yeah, we know you’re just gonna do you no matter what, but doing you sometimes results in catastrophe (check your phone after tomorrow’s inevitable bender. Did you text that dude who ghosted on you two months ago and ask why he’s such a mammoth “dick cheese”? Yeah, OK, keep reading. And maybe go get tested).
We’re going all “Dear Abby” for this week’s CNN column, so send all your most pressing Netiquette questions to StuffHipstersHate@gmail.com. You could end up on CNN! (look, enthusiasm). We’ll probably mostly mock you in the process of solving your quandaries, but that’s your own damn fault for not knowing to toss your cell to a pal after downing a flight of picklebacks. Now go buy that underfed, musically inclined stranger in your bed some breakfast. 
(Photo)

Asking For Advice

Yeah, we know you’re just gonna do you no matter what, but doing you sometimes results in catastrophe (check your phone after tomorrow’s inevitable bender. Did you text that dude who ghosted on you two months ago and ask why he’s such a mammoth “dick cheese”? Yeah, OK, keep reading. And maybe go get tested).

We’re going all “Dear Abby” for this week’s CNN column, so send all your most pressing Netiquette questions to StuffHipstersHate@gmail.com. You could end up on CNN! (look, enthusiasm). We’ll probably mostly mock you in the process of solving your quandaries, but that’s your own damn fault for not knowing to toss your cell to a pal after downing a flight of picklebacks. Now go buy that underfed, musically inclined stranger in your bed some breakfast. 

(Photo)

Oct 10
Being Official
When it comes to work, legal shit and relationships, it’s pretty much unanimous among the alt crowd: Being official is way too much fucking work.
That’s why we’re going all rogue and whatnot and throwing an unofficial CMJ showcase. Check out the details below. And a rad song from headliner Max Burgundy about love and fixies and stuff.
Stuff Hipsters Hate, BangOn!NYC & The MuseBox Present:
Our UNofficial CMJ Showcase 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
@The Living Theatre
21 Clinton St NYC
$5 Cover

Featuring:
Max Burgundy
Tayisha Busay
The Golden Pony
Narcisse
Not Blood Paint
KittenBerry Crunch

Set times:
9 pm: Kitten Berry Crunch
10 pm: Not Blood Paint
11 pm: The Golden Pony
12 am: Tayisha Busay 
1 am: Max Burgundy




Max Burgundy - Hey Love! by HEAVEmedia

Being Official

When it comes to work, legal shit and relationships, it’s pretty much unanimous among the alt crowd: Being official is way too much fucking work.

That’s why we’re going all rogue and whatnot and throwing an unofficial CMJ showcase. Check out the details below. And a rad song from headliner Max Burgundy about love and fixies and stuff.

Stuff Hipsters Hate, BangOn!NYC & The MuseBox Present:

Our UNofficial CMJ Showcase 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011

@The Living Theatre

21 Clinton St NYC

$5 Cover

Featuring:

Max Burgundy

Tayisha Busay

The Golden Pony

Narcisse

Not Blood Paint

KittenBerry Crunch

Set times:

9 pm: Kitten Berry Crunch

10 pm: Not Blood Paint

11 pm: The Golden Pony

12 am: Tayisha Busay 

1 am: Max Burgundy

Max Burgundy - Hey Love! by HEAVEmedia

Aug 26
Preparing For Natural Disasters
Sander: Whoa, dude, what’s with all the water jugs and shit?
Jona: Dude, there’s a hurricane coming, that’s what. Don’t you, like, read the news?
Sander: Only when it has to do with political injustices and shit. A hurricane, for realsies?
Jona: Yeah, for realsies. It’s coming, like, right for us. People are all evacuating and shit. We live right on the line, though, so we should be cool. Just need to be prepared and whatnot.
Sander: So what’s all the water for?
Jona: If, you know, the water turns off.
Sander: Can’t we just go to the bodega?
Jona: I think it’ll probably be closed if there’s a ‘cane. Owner dude lives in Queens or something. Wanna help me tape some trash bags over the windows? Also, you should probably move your drumkit into the hallway and — oh — fill the tub with water so that we can shower and whatnot.
Sander: That sounds like a lot of work. Besides, if a hurricane comes sweeping up in here, maybe it’s, like, a sign. A sign that we should take less stock in material possessions and shit and, like, return to motherfucking nature. Relinquish the trappings of overfed American society and make like beasts. It could be, like, a return to Eden, man. A primitive reawakening… A reordering! Yeah, man, a fucking reordering of corporate society or some such shit. Businessman ripping free from the chains of suits and shackles of cufflinks and ties, the plebs rising up from the ashes of soiled money and sodden silks — the debris of the higher-ups — and taking their rightful places as the makers of this world. [His cell buzzes] Hold on, I’ll brb.
Jona: Where are you going?
Sander: That was my dealer. I ain’t going through this shit sober.
(Photo)

Preparing For Natural Disasters

Sander: Whoa, dude, what’s with all the water jugs and shit?

Jona: Dude, there’s a hurricane coming, that’s what. Don’t you, like, read the news?

Sander: Only when it has to do with political injustices and shit. A hurricane, for realsies?

Jona: Yeah, for realsies. It’s coming, like, right for us. People are all evacuating and shit. We live right on the line, though, so we should be cool. Just need to be prepared and whatnot.

Sander: So what’s all the water for?

Jona: If, you know, the water turns off.

Sander: Can’t we just go to the bodega?

Jona: I think it’ll probably be closed if there’s a ‘cane. Owner dude lives in Queens or something. Wanna help me tape some trash bags over the windows? Also, you should probably move your drumkit into the hallway and — oh — fill the tub with water so that we can shower and whatnot.

Sander: That sounds like a lot of work. Besides, if a hurricane comes sweeping up in here, maybe it’s, like, a sign. A sign that we should take less stock in material possessions and shit and, like, return to motherfucking nature. Relinquish the trappings of overfed American society and make like beasts. It could be, like, a return to Eden, man. A primitive reawakening… A reordering! Yeah, man, a fucking reordering of corporate society or some such shit. Businessman ripping free from the chains of suits and shackles of cufflinks and ties, the plebs rising up from the ashes of soiled money and sodden silks — the debris of the higher-ups — and taking their rightful places as the makers of this world. [His cell buzzes] Hold on, I’ll brb.

Jona: Where are you going?

Sander: That was my dealer. I ain’t going through this shit sober.

(Photo)

Jul 21
Expensive Performance Venues (Save Silent Barn)
Lines, plebs and security guards who aren’t 420- (and bring-your-own 40-) friendly? No thanks. Give me a beat-up — like bedbug-infested — couch and a bar manned by a dude who only knows how to make “whiskey” any old time.
I don’t usually beat any kind of cause drum (my skinny arms be so tired), but too many good venues seem to be biting it of late. First there was CoCo66 and its prohibition-esque shutdown ($20,000 worth of liquor down the draaaaain) and now my favorite feral cat sanctuary, Silent Barn, is down for the proverbial count. So, yeah, give them some money (clicky-click here) or something so I won’t have to resort to going to Terminal 5.
Photo: B at the Silent Barn, in simpler times… (a.k.a., like, last month)

Expensive Performance Venues (Save Silent Barn)

Lines, plebs and security guards who aren’t 420- (and bring-your-own 40-) friendly? No thanks. Give me a beat-up — like bedbug-infested — couch and a bar manned by a dude who only knows how to make “whiskey” any old time.

I don’t usually beat any kind of cause drum (my skinny arms be so tired), but too many good venues seem to be biting it of late. First there was CoCo66 and its prohibition-esque shutdown ($20,000 worth of liquor down the draaaaain) and now my favorite feral cat sanctuary, Silent Barn, is down for the proverbial count. So, yeah, give them some money (clicky-click here) or something so I won’t have to resort to going to Terminal 5.

Photo: B at the Silent Barn, in simpler times… (a.k.a., like, last month)

Jun 06
Suspense
So, without further ado, we give you your new anthem: Please Come to Brooklyn by folk darling Rachel Lee Walsh.
Tanuki Suit's “O! Brooklyn (A love story of annexation)” and Mancie's “Brooklyn (This is what I want to do!)” also rocked our faces off at last night’s competition and made us really, really glad we physically couldn’t get to Manhattan all weekend due to the L train shut-down. Yeah, this borough’s pretty OK. Other than all its fuckin’ hipsters.
(Photo)

Suspense

So, without further ado, we give you your new anthem: Please Come to Brooklyn by folk darling Rachel Lee Walsh.

Tanuki Suit's “O! Brooklyn (A love story of annexation)” and Mancie's “Brooklyn (This is what I want to do!)” also rocked our faces off at last night’s competition and made us really, really glad we physically couldn’t get to Manhattan all weekend due to the L train shut-down. Yeah, this borough’s pretty OK. Other than all its fuckin’ hipsters.

(Photo)

May 30
Sad Sunday Nights
Sundays typically suck. Make your next one awesome by joining us at the Brooklyn Anthem Bash. Admire the super bad-ass flyer above by Jessie Irwin (who is 16 and a better artist than you’ll ever be — sad) and RSVP here for free-flowing Bear Flag wine, music, local celebrities and dance-y times with yours truly.

Sad Sunday Nights

Sundays typically suck. Make your next one awesome by joining us at the Brooklyn Anthem Bash. Admire the super bad-ass flyer above by Jessie Irwin (who is 16 and a better artist than you’ll ever be — sad) and RSVP here for free-flowing Bear Flag wine, music, local celebrities and dance-y times with yours truly.

May 15
Including Everyone
Well, the deadline has come and gone (and been extended and gone again) for our Brooklyn Anthem contest Battle of the Bands shizz. And while actually dredging up the will to listen to all those songs wore our soul treads a little thin, we did delight in axing some of y’all out of the running. Hey, this isn’t, like, Pee-Wee soccer or whatever — not everyone gets a trophy.
OK, well, we can tell you’re all sweating with anticipation, so here are the finalists who will be competing at Glassland Gallery on June 5th for 10 hours of recording time at Let ‘Em In Studios and eternal fame and glory (or infamy and gory, depending on their level of intoxication come showtime):
Tanuki Suit, "O! Brooklyn (A love story of annexation)"
Mancie, "Brooklyn (This is what I want to do!)"
Rachel Lee Walsh, "Please Come to Brooklyn"
Come out and see these people bang on drums and shit at 9 pm at Glasslands, where they will be judged by the following:
Nicky Digital, uh, Nicky Digital
Jason Diamond, Vol. 1 Brooklyn/Jewcy.com
Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere
Dan Zaccagnino, Indaba Music
Russ Marshalek of Flavorpill will be spinning between sets. Bear Flag wine will be served from 9 to 10. Now, if you will excuse me, I will resume my hangover in blissful solitude. 
(Photo)

Including Everyone

Well, the deadline has come and gone (and been extended and gone again) for our Brooklyn Anthem contest Battle of the Bands shizz. And while actually dredging up the will to listen to all those songs wore our soul treads a little thin, we did delight in axing some of y’all out of the running. Hey, this isn’t, like, Pee-Wee soccer or whatever — not everyone gets a trophy.

OK, well, we can tell you’re all sweating with anticipation, so here are the finalists who will be competing at Glassland Gallery on June 5th for 10 hours of recording time at Let ‘Em In Studios and eternal fame and glory (or infamy and gory, depending on their level of intoxication come showtime):

Tanuki Suit"O! Brooklyn (A love story of annexation)"

Mancie, "Brooklyn (This is what I want to do!)"

Rachel Lee Walsh, "Please Come to Brooklyn"

Come out and see these people bang on drums and shit at 9 pm at Glasslands, where they will be judged by the following:

Nicky Digital, uh, Nicky Digital

Jason Diamond, Vol. 1 Brooklyn/Jewcy.com

Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere

Dan Zaccagnino, Indaba Music

Russ Marshalek of Flavorpill will be spinning between sets. Bear Flag wine will be served from 9 to 10. Now, if you will excuse me, I will resume my hangover in blissful solitude. 

(Photo)

May 09
Creating New Things
'Cause, yeah, we know, it's much easier to just mash-up existing stuff and hate on whatever anyone else is trying to do. 
So, for those who weren’t totally clear the first time: BK bands, we want you to win 10 hours of studio time, and you don’t need to reinvent the wheel to make it happen. 
If you’re an unsigned band with at least one (1) member living in Brooklyn, submit an original song—new or already released—reflective of your borough or hood. The deadline’s Friday, May 13, and submission details (it’s easy, ya just send us the damn thing) are available here.
On Sunday, June 5, the finalists will perform at Glasslands Gallery in Williamsburg for our super bad-ass panel of judges, which currently includes:
Nicky Digital, uh, Nicky Digital
Jason Diamond, Vol. 1 Brooklyn/Jewcy.com
Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere
Dan Zaccagnino, Indaba Music
Sift through those archives. Fire up the GarageBand. Make some new fans and score a whole day of recording. Fuck yeah.
(photo)

Creating New Things

'Cause, yeah, we know, it's much easier to just mash-up existing stuff and hate on whatever anyone else is trying to do. 

So, for those who weren’t totally clear the first time: BK bands, we want you to win 10 hours of studio time, and you don’t need to reinvent the wheel to make it happen. 

If you’re an unsigned band with at least one (1) member living in Brooklyn, submit an original song—new or already released—reflective of your borough or hood. The deadline’s Friday, May 13, and submission details (it’s easy, ya just send us the damn thing) are available here.

On Sunday, June 5, the finalists will perform at Glasslands Gallery in Williamsburg for our super bad-ass panel of judges, which currently includes:

Nicky Digital, uh, Nicky Digital

Jason Diamond, Vol. 1 Brooklyn/Jewcy.com

Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere

Dan Zaccagnino, Indaba Music

Sift through those archives. Fire up the GarageBand. Make some new fans and score a whole day of recording. Fuck yeah.

(photo)

May 03
Meeting Deadlines
Yeah, we know it’s hard. That’s why we’re giving you, lackadaisical Brooklyn bands, a few extra days to McGuyver/Garage Band a new Brooklyn-centric jam for our stellar Brooklyn Anthem Bash. The new deadline for submissions is Friday, May 13. And the submission process is so easy you can do it whilst hungo and eating Lucky Charms and watching Twin Peaks on TVDuck.
The world needs better music. You need ten (10) hours of studio time with an engineer at Let ‘Em In Music in Park Slope. Doooo iiiit.
(Photo)

Meeting Deadlines

Yeah, we know it’s hard. That’s why we’re giving you, lackadaisical Brooklyn bands, a few extra days to McGuyver/Garage Band a new Brooklyn-centric jam for our stellar Brooklyn Anthem Bash. The new deadline for submissions is Friday, May 13. And the submission process is so easy you can do it whilst hungo and eating Lucky Charms and watching Twin Peaks on TVDuck.

The world needs better music. You need ten (10) hours of studio time with an engineer at Let ‘Em In Music in Park Slope. Doooo iiiit.

(Photo)